EPIC CROWD PLEASER: Marianne's Sticky Toffee Cupcakes

WARNING: THESE CUPCAKES ARE RIDICULOUS IN A VARIETY OF WAYS. YOU WILL WANT TO EAT THE WHOLE BATCH. DON'T EAT THE WHOLE BATCH.

There. Got that off my chest.

The goddess Marianne once--for no terribly good reason, if I remember correctly--gave me an entire box of these. I ate almost the entire box. Sure, I offered them to my family, but I offered them at different times, so that for each family member who ate a cupcake, I also ate a cupcake. I don't know if you guys know how many family members I have, but let's just say that it came out to me eating a ton of cupcakes.

Then Marianne gave me the recipe. And I saw the amount of butter involved. And I added up the amount of cupcakes I'd eaten in the past 12 hours. One of the worst/best days of my life. Best for my taste buds, worst for my heart (the physical one, that doesn't get along with butter so swell...).

This is why I urge again: Don't make these if you don't have a very specific distribution plan. Otherwise, you will pull the pans out of the oven and then wake up three days later from your sugar coma, face and hands sticky with toffee. And then you'll die of a heart attack. But a happy heart attack.

Marianne-is-a-Wicked-Woman Sticky Toffee Cupcakes


Cupcakes
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature (wrapper saved to grease tins)
2 cups all purpose flour, plus more for tins
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup brandy
8 oz plump, moist dates, halved and pitted
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 cup packed dark brown sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature

Toffee Glaze* 
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup packed dark brown sugar
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature
1/4 cup brandy
1/4 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350 F.
Grease the tins of a muffin pan with the butter wrapper (and additional butter, if necessary). Flour greased tins and dump out excess.

Bring water, brandy and dates to a boil in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Reduce heat to medium low; cover and cook until dates are very soft--about five minutes. Transfer mixture to a blender and puree until smooth. Let cool fifteen minutes.

Whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. With an electric mixer on medium high speed, cream butter and brown sugar until pale and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until each is thoroughly mixed in. Reduce mixer speed to low. Add flour mixture in three batches, alternating with two additions of date-brandy puree, and beating until just combined after each addition.

Divide batter evenly among prepared muffin cups. Bake, rotating the muffin pans halfway through the baking process, until a cake tester in the middle comes out clean--should be about 20 to 25 minutes.

Toward the end of the baking time, make the Toffee Glaze. In a medium saucepan, bring cream, brown sugar, and butter to a boil over medium high heat, stirring occasionally. (I love that direction.) Cook for three minutes. Stir in brandy and salt, and cook one more minute.

As soon as the cupcakes are removed from the oven, use a toothpick to lift one side of each cupcake so that they are all standing on edge, raised slightly out of the tins. Using your fingertips to lift each cupcake a bit more, spoon two tablespoons of glaze into each cup, then nudge the cupcake back into place. Let cool 10 minutes.

To finish, invert the cupcakes onto a wire rack set over a baking sheet (or just onto a baking sheet, if you don't have a wire rack handy) and spoon two more tablespoons of glaze over each one. Let set for about five minutes (if you can wait that long) and then DEVOUR. But Please--SHARE!

*The Toffee Glaze is AMAZING even on its own--probably has something to do with the fact that it's nothing but brandy, cream, and sugar. Oh, and butter. Any leftover glaze CANNOT be thrown out. Instead, put it on ice cream, toast, scones, a spoon, or anything else that needs a bit more deliciousness.