I remember vividly the first time I watched a cream pie being made. To be fair, it was only a few years ago, in college. (I'm late to the cream pie party, alright?) My brilliant culinary friend decided to make some kind of cream pie, for some reason or other. (Really, college is just one big blur of stress-baking in my memory.) In the process of making the custard, she started whipping spoonfuls of hot cream and egg back and forth, whisking several concoctions together in a variety of bowls, seemingly against the laws of physics. Where did she get all those extra arms? And how did she know how to do this?
"It's called 'tempering,'" she said, in response to my goggling eyes and lolling jaw, "and you have to do it, or the eggs will cook. You'll have a banana quiche instead of a banana cream pie. Gross." And, with a wrinkle of her nose, she went back to her whisking, pouring, stirring.
I've never forgotten that moment, and I always replay it when I'm making anything custard-y. If the house is particularly empty, I occasionally say it out loud: "It's called 'tempering,' eggs. It's so you don't turn this pie into a banana breakfast scramble. Get with the program! Whiskwhiskwhisk!"
This is why I keep a recipe-book/blog, and not a vlog. (Slightly) reduced levels of personal embarrassment.
Banana Cream Pie
Crust
(Many of my recipes say to start with a pre-baked crust. However, crusts annoy me, and I like crushing things, so I like to make my banana cream pies with graham cracker crusts instead.)
1 package (about 1.5-2 cups) graham cracker crumbs
6 tbsp butter, melted
Filling
3 cups whole milk or half and half
3/4 cups white sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
3 egg yolks, slightly beaten
2 tbsp butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla
3-4 bananas, medium-ripe
For the crust:
Pour graham cracker crumbs into a 9" pie pan. Pour melted butter over crumbs and stir together until a crumbly paste forms. Press the mixture flat against the bottom and sides of the pie pan with a fork or spatula. Place in refrigerator to cool while preparing the filling.
For the filling:
Preheat oven to 350 F. In a medium saucepan, scald the milk over medium-high heat. In another medium/large saucepan, whisk together sugar, flour, and salt. Once milk has scalded, pour slowly into the dry mixture and stir to thoroughly combine. Return mixture to heat; cook until thickened, stirring constantly. Once mixture has thickened, cover and reduce heat to medium, stirring occasionally for another two minutes.
Tempering: Have the slightly-beaten egg yolks in their own bowl. After the custard mixture has thickened, begin adding small amounts of the hot milky mixture to the bowl of eggs, whisking thoroughly after each addition. Then, once you've incorporated enough of the custard so that the bright yellow egg yolks have been diluted to a paler pastel color and have gotten used to the higher heat, pour the smaller bowl of custard/egg yolk mixture into the larger saucepan (which you've been occasionally stirring all this time--hope you remembered to grow extra arms!). Cook for one minute longer, stirring constantly, then remove from heat. Blend in butter and vanilla.
Pull the crust out of the fridge and slice the bananas into the bottom. Pour the cooling custard over the bananas, then pop the whole thing into the oven for 12 minutes. Once out of the oven, chill for an hour. Then, top with extra banana slices, whipped cream, or a meringue that you ambitiously whipped up out of the leftover whites from the eggs. DEVOUR, thinking of science.
